My guy has had my heart for most of our lives, my whole heart. Through good times and bad, he is everything when the day ends. Hardworking, best friend, best dad, all-around great guy.
We met in 1993, and I can still see him standing there next to that pool table. I had never played pool, but I was ready to learn. We spent time getting to know each other, but sometimes we arrive in the right place at the wrong time. It wasn’t long before we were off in different directions for some soul searching and self-discovery.
As life happened, our hearts came back together, and on May 25th, 2002, we said “I DO.” Now we are twenty years in on a life sentence, celebrating life’s big wins and navigating significant losses. We could write books of all that has happened in the last twenty years, but we’ve already lived it once, so let’s skip to the good part.
Life as Mr and Mrs had been paved with miles of memories. We have a big family of seven daughters, though only five are still home. Though we are content here in the city, we are always dreaming of a large acreage outside of town with a wrap-around porch, a small stream, and plenty of timber.
What they don’t tell you…
Staying married happily or otherwise doesn’t just happen. All relationships require some maintenance and even repairs. There is so much advice on things you can do to have everything go your way. You only get out what you put in: Hard work achieves results; when the results slow, we make adjustments.
Couples DO NOT always agree on everything, and thanks okay! We argue, disagree, have gone to bed without resolution, we’ve spoken out of turn and out of context. Sometimes situations can not be repaired in a moment, take time to get your head and heart to come together.
Finding things to do, together, apart, and Tradeoffs
Our Time Together:
We enjoy time together such as our Chicago Wednesdays on the couch, Sunday meal planning, prep, and cooking for the week as well as occasionally tackling the grocery store. We enjoy outdoor adventures such as camping and fishing within short miles from home, bonfires in the backyard, and adult beverages at leisure.
Our Time Apart:
Photography is my find. Carrying a camera with me when I leave the house (a real one not, just my phone) I try to set a goal to seek out new and unexpected. But if you know me personally, I also enjoy showcasing our family!
Old newspapers and hidden family treasurers create a connection in my soul to those we have loved and lost. I am our family genealogist. I am very passionate about who I am, and where I came from, and love sharing my finds with our family.
Meanwhile, he enjoys trout fishing to the North and hunting through the seasons with a few weekend campouts with the guys. He also enjoys some good hunting adventures as our girls who have come to enjoy it as much as he does. At home he enjoys baking and creating delicious family meals on one of the outdoor cooking utensils, and one day he will have a complete outdoor kitchen.
Sometimes we need to Trade-Off:
Just as it sounds, someone gets to do something how they want. One goes to a sporting event earlier to enjoy alone time. Taking an extra 30 minutes to get home after an errand, or simply taking the long way home. A grand adventure such as a “mom or dad” night out! No kids, No Questions.
Help each other – Check-In and Check-Outs, Self Care
-
- A daily phone call or more to see how things are going.
- Letting one sleep in after a long day or week.
- Keeping the kids busy while one of you gets to shower with a locked door
- A little flirting is always fun and a welcome show of affection and the kids think it’s silly.
Twenty Year Personal Relationship Goals to come
- More date nights! We have enjoyed a few this year, and it has been fun.
- Checking in on us with conversations about things other than our kids.
- Reminding each other of the little things that came before all the big stuff.
As we continue on year to year, let us remember to enjoy all moments as they come and be grateful for those that have passed, after all this is “Our Life Story”
Cheers to the next twenty years!
Make sure you never miss out on a parenting or community-related blog post: sign up to receive Cedar Rapids Moms posts in your inbox. While you’re at it, join our VIP List to ensure you’re one of the first to know about upcoming Cedar Rapids Moms’ events and promotions!!