Its awards season – congratulations to all the winners and also the nominees! It really is an honor to be recognized for one’s performance, isn’t it?
Recently, I was bestowed the honor of Best Mom Ever. That was closely followed by Worst Mom Ever. Both were given to me by my children during a sugar high and then crash in a single afternoon.
The awards were somewhat unexpected and I didn’t have any speeches prepared when the awards were presented to me. Inspired by all of the other award ceremonies and shows recently, I think I’m due for my turn at the mic.
Best Mom Ever
“Wow. First of all, I think we all as mothers strive to just do the best job we can and truly survive the day to day. Sometimes we are given an opportunity for a role like this and things seem to fall into place.
I need to send a huge shout out to the OG of this award, my Mom.
Thank you for teaching me so much about motherhood by setting an example of unconditional love and understanding. Your support has meant so much to me and I’ll keep striving to reach the bar you set as the Best Mom Ever.
I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my amazing husband who stayed up late the night before to get some much-needed chores done around the house so that I could try and rest while the baby slept. Otherwise, I don’t know if I would have been energized enough to actually do activities with the kids the next day!
I’d want to thank my lovely children who nominated me and then bestowed the award with such love. I’d also like to thank Amazon and our Fairfax mail carrier for delivering the supplies for the activities we did that day.
I couldn’t have been as awake as I was without my coffee, nor could the kids have enjoyed the delicious snacks they had without our nearby Walmart “Pick Up” grocery services. We don’t go to the store anymore for what I think should be obvious reasons.
Lastly, thank you to the College Community Schools for having a No School Day so that we could have some additional bonding time. It was a rare opportunity for us to spend some time together and I think it brought out my best “mom” performance I’ve had in a while.
It’s hard not to be cliché, but…they love me, they really love me!”
Worst Mom Ever
“I started to hear talk about my nomination for this award while the kids were being asked to clean up from the day’s activities and I wasn’t sure if I’d be a shoo-in or not. I don’t want to seem like I am completely surprised but I feel like I put in a solid performance and it looks like it paid off!
There’s no method to my “craft”; it truly comes naturally.
I have spent years learning how to ask a kid at the perfect time to stop doing something they’re enjoying so they can clean up. I’ve perfected how to spoil everyone’s good time by announcing that dinner is almost ready during the best part of the kids’ TV show, and how to check everyone’s hands to be sure they ACTUALLY washed them before coming to the table.
That day I had such fantastic material to work with: enforcing house rules, telling the kids to keep their hands to themselves, and even a pretty significant backtalk situation with a time out given. I guess I should have believed more in myself that I could someday be standing here, the winner of the “Worst Mom Ever” award.
First off, I owe so much to my husband for supporting me and saying things like, “Listen to your Mom,” asking the kids if they heard me the first several times.
Next, I’m going to give another shout-out to the local Walmart but this time for their delivery services so that we could have those “gross” veggies with our “yucky” dinner.
I know there have been times that I’ve come close to winning this award but somehow it slipped through my fingers.
When I didn’t buy an extra hour of jump time at AirFX and we needed to leave, or the time I didn’t buy arcade tokens at the PlayStation and instead the kids had to only play on the equipment. I also remember when I took them to the Noelridge Splash Pad but didn’t buy them a treat from the ice cream truck.
There was that classic moment at the Iowa Children’s Museum when I didn’t let them move onto the next activity until they cleaned up the mess they’d made. Always with the cleaning up of messes– it’s so mean, I know.
Believe in yourself.
To everyone in the audience who has ambitions of winning one or even both of these awards, just know that it’s achievable and you CAN be the Best Mom Ever and also the Worst Mom Ever! It’s inside all of you! To the past winners, you blazed the trail for the rest of us and I only tried to follow in your footsteps.
I hear children crying so I guess that means my time is up. Thank you, I’ll treasure these awards always. And good night!
*mic drop*
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