To the Mama Who Dreads Mother’s Day

For so many women, Mother’s Day is a reminder of what isn’t there. A mother who has passed away or who is estranged, a child who should be in their arms but isn’t; a yearly reminder of what should have been.  

They accept their children’s handmade cards and thoughtful gifts with smiles on their faces and an ache in their hearts that they can’t quite explain. Because while Mother’s Day can be a joyous day of celebration, it can also be a day of grief.

To the Mama Who Dreads Mother's DayMy mom left when I was little. And even though I have an amazing grandmother who raised me and a fantastic mother-in-law, since becoming a mom myself I have learned it’s just not quite the same as having a mom of your own. I grieve the loss of that relationship on holidays, at the birth of every one of my children, and on random Tuesdays when I could really use some help that only a mom can provide. 

I dread Mother’s Day because in spite of the fact that it’s a day to celebrate the wonderful mother-like figures in my life and an opportunity to connect with my kids, it’s also a reminder of the mother who isn’t there. 

I know I’m not the only one.

So, for all of you mamas out there who have an ache in your heart this week thinking about that extra place at the table that should be filled by someone you have lost, know that you are not alone. And it’s ok to grieve your loss even while you celebrate all you have. 


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  1. This also is the same grief those estranged mothers carry; praying to have relationships with their daughters and grandchildren. Trying to determine how to begin, what to say, how to explain the things that led to those choices all those many years ago. Hoping and praying their child knows how much they are loved and missed…..every day.

  2. It’s been 9 years since my mother passed away. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss her. As time goes by my memories of her only intensify. Despite personal, professional and financial success I’d trade it all for one more Saturday phone call. In my opinion what ever has happened is in the past. The important thing is to value what we do have. If your mother is out there, reach out to her accept all that she can offer and give you emotionally. It is the right thing to do in your heart and soul.
    God bless you and your loved ones

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