Beautiful Instagram pictures and perfectly-curated Facebook posts aside, we all know that social media doesn’t tell the whole story. Do you ever wonder what another mom’s life is really like? Wonder no more! Follow along on this funny and honest day-in-the-life of one local working mama.

Morning Rush

5:00 a.m.: Alarm goes off. SNOOZE

5:16 a.m.: Alarm goes off, again. SNOOZE

5:32 a.m.: Alarm goes off, again. Sigh to self and wonder how much time I have before Charlie starts fussing.

6:25 a.m.: Finally ready after trying on three different outfits and deciding I have absolutely nothing to wear to work anymore. Mentally add to my to-do list:

• “Start making a shopping list for my girls’ trip to Des Moines this weekend.”

6:35 a.m.: Start working on diaper and clothes for Charlie. All the while I’m watching Kelly, my husband, refill the diaper Genie and think to myself, “Should I tell him that he is completely WASTING the refills because he tied that knot so large? Nope, I’ll just sit here and judge him quietly.”

6:45 a.m.: Henry, my son, tries to convince me to let him have ice cream if he does well on his spelling test. “It’s time to go! Get in the van.” I secretly hope he doesn’t realize I didn’t answer about the ice cream.

6:50 a.m.: Alright, I managed to get both kids (with breakfast!) and literally all seven of my bags for the day into the van. Just as I walk around, I remember it’s garbage day…RECYCLING!

6:54 a.m.: After making three trips to the curb with recyclables (in my heels, no less), I’m finally pulling out of the garage. Take Charlie out of the car seat only to discover she is completely wet. Experience mini-meltdown and realize she just spilled her milk on her pants.

The Work Day

7:30 a.m.: TIME FOR WORK! Do the work.

4:50 p.m.: Stand around parking lot with co-worker complaining about our day and all the annoying people.

The Commute

5:00 p.m.: Get in the van, turn on my “Minivan Bumping” playlist, and think to self, “Remember to go out on 42nd because Edgewood was backed up. AWW! The baby geese hatched! Where are they? I have to remember to tell Henry.”

5:25 p.m.: Pull into daycare, glance at my Fitbit and see I made it to North Liberty in 20 minutes. Yeah, I speed–a lot–while listening to rap. (Judge away.)

5:26 p.m.: Log kids out of computer as soon as I walk in the door–every minute counts, right?! Go to nursery and watch Charlie playing for a few minutes. Then she spots me and it’s time to party!

5:27 p.m.: Run into the room like a crazy lady, scoop Charlie up and lay as many kisses on her as possible.

Get her daily report card, and think, “Dang girl, you should really sleep more!”

5:30 p.m.: Head outside to get Henry. Open the door and he’s smirking because his teacher saw him throw a ring on the roof. Proceed, “HENRY JAMES! Let’s go!” Teacher comments on the mention of middle name as another little kid lobs a ring at Henry’s head and nails him. I patiently wait for him to start crying. “Henry lets go! Shake it off.” He proceeds to cry more. “Henry, it was a complete accident, so man up and shake it off!”

5:35 p.m.: FINALLY get back inside only to discover Henry has to go upstairs to get his bag. As I wait I ponder, “Why do I always think I can wait until I get home to pee?” Henry finally comes down and we get in the van to go home.

5:43 p.m.: It’s Tuesday, so Henry gets $1.99 happy meal. While in drive-thru, I notice Charlie is abnormally quiet. She’s asleep, confirming my previous thought about sleeping! Take photo–while stopped, of course–and send to Kelly.

5:50 p.m.: “Oh, Henry, guess what! The baby geese at work hatched! I’ll take a picture tomorrow…if I remember!”

Back at Home

5:51 p.m.: As we unload from the van, I remind Henry to feed the dog and pray Charlie doesn’t wake up! Make it upstairs without Charlie waking up. Tell myself, “Just leave her downstairs next time to reduce the risk of her waking. DUH!”

5:53 p.m.: Run to the bathroom as I’m seconds from peeing my pants now and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I wonder, “Yikes, is this what I looked like all day?! Time to put on the sweats and tee!”

6:10 p.m.: Oh no! Charlie is awake. Take her out of car seat and check on daily report to see if I have to actually “mom up.” Diaper 4:40 p.m. Fed 4:20 p.m. Think to self,  “How I’m I going to cook with Charlie on my hip?!”  “Oh! Look here: a muffin tin, a clothes pin, a paint brush, a hair clip, and here–a graham cracker. Now, see all this fun stuff, Charlie? Sit and play while I cook…thanks!”

6:12 p.m.: Open the fridge to get supper ingredients and notice I have a full bottle of wine in the fridge. MUST HAVE A GLASS!

6:30 p.m.: Kelly’s home and grabs Charlie. (Charlie whining) Kelly tells Charlie, “Let me just put my pants on…” (LOL – Amateur!)

6:45 p.m.: (Charlie still whining) Get some beef stew heated up for Charlie. Dang, this is good. Now contemplating whether I should tell Kelly that I’ll just share stew with Charlie…nah!

7:00 p.m.: BATH TIME! Put Charlie in the tub and she looks at me like I’m crazy. Which reminds me, I need to paint my toe nails. But first, MORE WINE!

7:10 p.m.: Kelly brings me dinner while I sit on the bathroom floor watching Charlie and my toes dry.

7:20 p.m.: Charlie starts freaking out. I think she bit her finger or tongue, so bath time and eating come to a screeching halt. Time to wash up and get out. Henry now wants to know what is for dinner…SERIOUSLY?!

7:35 p.m.: While feeding Charlie, I message my girlfriends that I have only had one glass of wine and I’m already tipsy.

7:45 p.m.: Charlie is asleep, and Henry starts whining about watching a movie. Clearly, it’s time to go to bed, but I turn on Berenstain Bears while he eats his banana. I wonder, why does a family of bears own a cat? Weird. I look over and Henry is crying. I ask him if he needs a hug, and we hug.

8:30 p.m.: “OK, Henry, time for bed.” Henry, trying to delay the inevitable, proceeds to tell me a story about some sleep game he plays. I stop listening and wait for him finish. “Cool. Good night. I love you.”

Post-Bedtime

8:45 p.m.: Finish cleaning up the kitchen and bathroom. Done. Thank God. Shoot! My toes are still a mess and now I’m drunk (from my two glasses of wine).

Time for bed!!

Special thanks to our Guest Blogger, Ashley Thompson!! Ashley is a working mama of two kids who also blogs over at The Five to Nine Mom!