A few years ago, I heard a quote that really stuck with me. Judah Smith, a speaker that I really like, shared his family motto. He and his kids say it together, on the way to school, every single day.
At the time, I thought, “This is so important.” It is the kind of quote that you store in your mental notes.
It goes like this:
Who are we? We are kind, we are encouraging, we look for lonely people.
I love it and I absolutely plan to say this with my children because it is a great summary of how we can choose to treat others. Not because of who they are, or what they choose, but because of who WE choose to be!
Recently, I started to think about these words from a different perspective.
What if this became my “Mommy Motto?” My theme for relating to other moms around me on a daily basis?
Motherhood can be SO CHALLENGING and so lonely.
I think all moms could use a little kindness, encouragement, and friendship (especially in lonely seasons).
Sometimes, the culture of motherhood can be cruel. We are faced with SO MANY decisions about how to raise little humans in a world where there are so many choices (and opinions). It can be difficult to navigate what is best for our people. We don’t need any more pressure or criticism. No thank you!
However, there is ALWAYS room for more kindness, encouragement, and friendship. Both giving and receiving it.
I believe that setting a theme for how we relate to fellow mamas can change the culture of motherhood! Personally, I have mostly experienced a positive, supportive mommy culture. I am thankful for that.
However, I have experienced painful moments and seasons too.
Who are we?
We are all mamas just trying our very best to raise healthy little (or not so little) humans.
We love them.
We have their best interest in mind.
We often sacrifice a lot to make this happen.
That is our common ground!
We are kind.
We can choose, each day, to extend a little extra kindness to other mamas!
Even the ones who choose to parent differently than we do.
It is as simple as giving a genuine compliment to/about something you notice in her child…ie. “Wow, you have been such a great helper for your mom today!”
Maybe it is saying to the mama, who has a screaming toddler in the check out line, “I’ve so been there. How can I help you?”
Or it may mean having the wisdom to hold our tongue when our opinion or advice is not helpful/needed in the moment.
We are encouraging.
Encouragement requires a little more creativity, but it doesn’t have to be a hard thing.
This is when you give your fellow mama a genuine compliment or maybe just a little boost of, “You’ve got this. You’re doing great!”
In order to encourage someone, you often have to know a little bit about them… but words of encouragement can completely change the trajectory of someone’s day, week, month, maybe even year!
Practice it and see how impactful it can be!
We look for lonely people.
There are so many mamas who simply need a friend.
When you are out at the park or at that sporting event, look for lonely mamas.
Introduce yourself and be the one to say, “You can sit with me!”
Decide to make a new friend even if it is only for the few hours that you are together.
I want to have eyes to see those who are hurting and need a friend… then I want to choose to do something about it!
What if, by having a “mommy motto” we change something or someone?
What if, instead of feeling disappointed by some of the things that surround the culture of motherhood, we simply do it differently and set a new example?
What if the little (or not so little) eyes that watch us catch on to what we are doing and they also begin to create a new culture at home, at daycare, or at school?
“Who are we? We are kind. We are encouraging. We look for lonely people.”
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