I’m an outgoing introvert. It sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? According to the Myers-Briggs personality test (seriously if you haven’t taken this free test
, do it!), I’m an INFJ (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging), one of the rarest personality types. Basically what it boils down to is I’m a compassionate, observant, soft-spoken perfectionist who holds strong opinions. I have a knack for creativity and imagination but crave structure.
Introverts often get stereotyped as being shy, closed off, a lone wolf, and at times, socially aloof. That’s not the case for me. While I do decompress with alone time, I seek to make connections and yearn for warm, sensitive conversations.
“Outgoing introvert” is how I best describe my personality.
As a mom of two, I struggle to find a balance of both worlds. Sometimes I struggle to fit in with other moms. I am a realist with a highly creative and intuitive mind, so I kind of come off like an oddball. Sometimes I’m too much for some people.
I’m not a fan of small talk. If someone can really engage with me and have passionate, meaningful conversations, that’s what really makes my heart sing. INFJs fiercely love and value their relationships, and are natural protectors and nurturers.
Some days, however, I withdraw. I withdraw from society — work, social gatherings, Facebook and friends — as well as my family. Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom, turn the lights off, light a candle and sit in peace in the bathtub. I explain to my husband and kids that I’m a better person when I get a break. Mommy simply needs time to recharge.
Does that make me a bad mom for wanting a break?
Does that make me a bad friend for not texting back?
Am I an antisocial coworker because I need to take a 30-minute breather away from the office?
Nope. I’m just wired differently. I have that deliciously oxymoronic personality: the outgoing introvert.
Here are 5 things you should know about this rare personality type – the “Outgoing Introvert”
- We aren’t antisocial. We love people, just in small doses. Appearing standoffish or even withdrawn in crowds is a normal coping mechanism for INFJs. Don’t take it personally.
- We’re highly creative. We thrive when we get to use our imaginations and intuition. INFJs usually don’t perform well with minutia or highly detailed, mundane tasks.
- We have high expectations for ourselves. INFJs are perfectionists and hold high standards for not only ourselves but for others. We don’t believe in compromising our ideals.
- We can get overly confident. Because INFJs have such strong intuitive capabilities, we trust our instincts above all else. This makes us stubborn at times.
- We are empaths. We’re sensitive to the world around us. Our energy is often drained by those who lack empathy and compassion but is revived by those in our small circle of friends who truly “get” us.
Knowing your personality type can shed a light on frustrations in work or parenting situations, communication, relationships, and understanding your life purpose.
I highly recommend learning about your personality type to better understand your parenting, working and relationship style.
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