A Letter To My Rainbow Baby

Hello, little bundle of joy!

You’re still growing away in my belly, but time is flying by and we know we will get to meet you soon. We were busy navigating our way through the holiday season, your brother and sister’s many activities, and preparing the nursery for your arrival. It’s been almost an entire decade since I’ve had to prepare for a baby, so know that we’re all learning together. 

The term rainbow baby is not one that I use often, but it will forever hold a special meaning in my heart. You see, two babies before you went to heaven very early in my pregnancies. They were due in September and November of last year, so our hearts shattered twice before you decided to put them back together. There were times when I wondered if another baby would even be an option for us. 

After our first ultrasound and seeing your heart pumping away on the screen, I knew this time would be different. I’ve documented my growing bump and relish in your daily dance parties on the inside. Our first three months on this journey were rough, but I was grateful for the morning (all day) sickness because symptoms were a great sign.

We decided early on that we did not wish to find out your gender until you arrive in the delivery room. This was harder for your dad, so don’t be upset if he’s been calling you “little guy” this whole time and you happen to be a beautiful little girl. We will love you unconditionally no matter what. When people ask my preference and I say just a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes, I mean it. There are days when your sister is a breeze and days when your brother is a maniac. I thoroughly enjoy both worlds and know you will fit right in with our fun and crazy family. 

There are two big kids here, waiting as patiently as they can for you to make your grand appearance. You will be almost ten years younger than them, but I just know you three will be best friends. They talk to you daily and love to feel your kicks. Sometimes your brother imagines you’re actually giving him “knucks” because you two just understand each other already.

Your sister has the biggest heart and has an entire jar of notes she has written to you. She is ready to teach you everything she knows and cannot wait to show you off to everyone she meets. The age gap might seem extreme, but we know that this was all a part of God’s plan.

You have another big brother, who has four legs and is super hairy. He’s the 65lb obnoxious one who barks at every little sound. I’ve been told that since you put up with this on the inside, it might not be so alarming once you’re out here with us. He might be large, but he’ll cover you with kisses and protect you however he can.

Your dad is the goofball who makes silly sounds into my belly every night. It is very possible that he is the most excited one to meet you. You see, your dad came into my life about four years ago, when your siblings were almost six. I’ve watched him grow over the years and he’s by far one of the best. You really hit the jackpot when it comes to dads. I cannot wait to see the two of you together. 

It is amazing that before you have even arrived, you’ve managed to fill so many hearts with love. You have brought countless smiles, and have an entire army of humans awaiting your big debut. The baby shower predictions weighed heavily on the boy side and early arrival. If you are anything like your father, I know you will keep us on our toes right from the start.

You’re the answer to our prayers and we cannot wait to love you.

Love,

Your anxiously-growing uncomfortable-pregnancy lovin’ Mama

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