fbpx

A Letter to My (Formerly) Infertile Self

Dear Me,

Hi, it’s me. I know that you’re in the throes of trying to have a baby. You’re desperate and probably depressed. You’re tired of the medications, injections, appointments and pregnancy tests. You’ve endured devastating ultrasounds, miscarriages, emergency rooms, and surgeries. Pain and disappointment seem like they’ve moved in permanently.

I get it. I remember it vividly and I promise that I’ll never forget.

A Letter to My (Formerly) Infertile Self

I have to let you know that you’re going to get through this and come out on the other side better and stronger. You’re going to become a mother, and someday you’re even going to decide that you’re done having kids. I know it seems like a baffling conclusion at this point but it will come. And when it does, you’re going to be okay with it.

Try Not To Obsess.

If you want to spend 90% of your time thinking about what you’re going through then at least spend 10% of that time actually living your life. If you can bear it, increase that percentage of living from time to time. Otherwise, all you’ll remember about your mid-to-late twenties is how miserable you were.

Don’t be afraid to skip the baby showers; it’s completely understandable. And when someone you know says something well-meaning but unintentionally hurtful, please let it go.

Don’t Lose Who You Are

We evolve as we age. Who I was at 16 was completely different than who I am at 36. Trying to have a baby, for some people, can deeply affect who they are. I worry that by diving in so deeply and not continuing with your own maturation process, you could miss out on some amazing personal growth opportunities.

Please find some ways to reconnect with the parts of you that bring you joy and that make you who you are.

Continue Blogging

Starting that blog was a great outlet for expressing your feelings about your infertility journey. You took it a step further and joined a community of other bloggers who were also struggling, along with those finding success. In blogging a support system exists filled with others who understand what you are going through.

What you also may not realize is that there are other women out there just like you who will stumble across your blog and find information and inspiration from your posts.

A Letter to My (Formerly) Infertile Self

Normalize Infertility and Pregnancy Loss

You’ll find that as you continue on this journey, you’ll begin sharing your struggles, and even your successes with others. Don’t be afraid to keep doing that.

If you find a doctor that you love, share that with others.

If you find an easier way to navigate insurance for your fertility meds, add that to your blog.

If someone asks you if you have kids and you feel comfortable enough to share that you have more than one in heaven, then, by all means, say so.

If you want to post something on social media in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, then do it.

Advocate for Yourself

Don’t stop fighting for what you want to do. Yes, doctors make recommendations, but you don’t have to agree. Remember that doctor who wanted to take out your tubes in order to do IVF and you insisted on a second opinion? Great call, believe me.

Research the medications you’ve been prescribed. Know your lab orders and the results. Ask what everything means and learn the lingo. Being able to understand what the medical professionals are saying and then responding intelligently in return will be incredibly beneficial. It will be clear that you are actively involved in your own treatment.

Be Organized

Document what you can!

Have a timeline of your journey: when you started trying for a baby, what happened each month, list any pregnancies, blood tests, results, ultrasounds, etc. This way when you meet a new doctor or have to recall something, it’s right there for you.

Keeping that information organized will be crucial when talking to doctors, nurses and even pharmacists.

Keep the Faith

Even when the pain is so deep it feels like you’ll never dig out of it, I promise that you will. Motherhood is as hard as they say it is, but it’s the battle that you survived to get there that will help you endure it with extra appreciation and strength.

With love,

Me


Make sure you never miss out on a parenting or community-related blog post: sign up to receive Cedar Rapids Moms posts in your inbox.  While you’re at it, join our VIP List to ensure you’re one of the first to know about upcoming Cedar Rapids Moms events and promotions!!


Free Family-Friendly Activities | In & Around Cedar Rapids

0
Looking for some budget-friendly fun to keep the kiddos entertained? From exploring parks to markets, and cultural spots, Cedar Rapids has a ton of free family-friendly activities for you and your little ones to...

Where to See Fireworks | In & Around Cedar Rapids in 2024

0
Fireworks are quintessential to ring in America's birthday celebration! You have bought your family red, white and blue outfits, sparklers are ready to light up the evening, the grill is ready to go with...

Parenting a Child with ADHD: A Mom’s Journey + Tips

2
Parenting is an adventure filled with unexpected twists and turns. When my child was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), it added a new dimension to this journey. It’s a path filled with challenges, discoveries,...

Father’s Day Events | In & Around Cedar Rapids

0
Father's Day is Sunday, June 16th. And while we don't need a single day to honor Dads and father figures (we should celebrate them every day!), make Sunday meaningful, special, and fun as you...

2024 Summer Fairs & Festivals | In & Around Cedar Rapids

0
Cedar Rapids is buzzing with summer fun! Think cotton candy, Ferris wheels, and games galore! From the Freedom Festival to local fairs, there's something for everyone. This list of events will be growing all...
 
Join our community.
Be the first to know about new resources, can't-miss happenings, and new blog articles! 
Yay, we're so glad you're here! Keep an eye on your inbox