I Want To Lose More Than Just The Weight

I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. The scale has fluctuated up and down my entire life. Recently, I’m on one of the “down” fluctuations, as I shocked myself by winning a local Ten Week Fitness Challenge.

As I look at my Before and After pictures for the 800th time, it got me to thinking; I want to lose MORE than just the weight.

I want to lose the pattern of working hard, then backsliding.

I want to lose the desire to grab an unhealthy snack out of my pantry every time I walk by it.

I want to lose the idea that every time I leave the house to exercise, I’m placing a burden on my family.

About a year ago, my mom saw the kickboxing studio near my house and said to me, “You should do that! You would love it!”

It kind of pains me to recall my response to her.

With a gasp and a scoff, I proclaimed, “How would I EVER have time for that?” Currently, I’m a stay at home mom to 3 kids (ages 6, 4, 2) and I also provide daycare for my infant nephew. The idea of finding an hour to “get away” every day seemed less realistic than buying my daughter a unicorn for her birthday.

It wasn’t until a year later that my husband’s coworker started attending that same studio and seeing awesome results that I began to reconsider. She nudged me to join her for a workout and I really enjoyed it.

Even more shocking to me was when I brought the idea up to my husband of joining the Ten Week challenge and his answer was an emphatic “yes!”. It’s his busiest time of year at work in the construction industry; I think I was almost hoping he would discourage it so that I didn’t have to follow through with the challenge.

Now, ten weeks later, I’ve begun to lose more than just weight.

I’m losing the idea that I HAVE to put myself last always or this whole ship will start to sink.

I’m losing the routine of trying on 12 different outfits before I leave the house because I tend to like the first one.

I’m losing the guilt-ridden mentality that improving my health only benefits me.

Losing weight has felt really good. But that hasn’t even been close to my biggest accomplishment during this time.

My biggest win has been learning to lean on others for help. To accept their help without feeling like I owe them something back of exact equal value. To stop trying to carry the world on my shoulders. To understand the world will keep on spinning whether I’m carrying it or not.

It just might not spin in the exact way I want.

My housework has suffered a bit as I’ve been exerting my energy elsewhere. Sometimes my kids go an extra night without a bath. My husband has exclusively taken over our daughter’s vision therapy at home; that’s an area I would have never imagined letting go control of.

And the world is still spinning.

Setting aside a small amount of time each day to improve your health might help you lose weight.

It also might help you lose so much more.

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