I have something I need to share, but it’s hard to admit: I need to switch from the fast lane to the slow lane in life. Coming back from maternity leave for the second time was so much harder than the first. I need to find a better work/life balance.
We live in a time where women fight for equal rights and equal opportunities. So, we feel the need to prove ourselves more and more to show we can handle everything. But not only does that mean going neck to neck with our career counterparts, but doing so while balancing a family at home. Our career not only affects our own lives, but others’ lives as well.
It’s starting to take a toll.
I’m worried about making it to morning meetings while my toddler is, well, being a toddler. There are mornings where he is quite indecisive about what he wants for breakfast, and I’m frantically saying out loud “Please hurry! I’m going to be late for work.” Other days I’m coming home and trying to make dinner so we can get our kids down for bed by 9 PM. The problem is, I’m not doing this because they will be crabby by 6 AM if we don’t; it’s because I need to log into work to finish some tasks so the next day I can get out of work in time for evening daycare pickup.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
It’s this unhealthy cycle where we are more worried about giving our kids a life they can appreciate rather than appreciating the life we have with our kids.
We as mothers can have it all. I know we can. It just might have to come at a slower pace than what we are used to. It’s like your child trying to grab as many things as he or she can while walking across the room. As she picks up another item to bring with her, she drops a different one. She’ll pick up the dropped item, walk a few steps and then drop another item. The solution? She starts to walk slower, tip toeing, and tries to keep a steady arm to make it to said destination with all items in tow.
We need to do the same. We need to be able to pick up items (or responsibilities) along the way, but not lose sight of our destination and goals. Motherhood definitely shifts our end goals. I want to grasp all the items, but keep hold of my sanity. Sometimes, trying to have it all makes me feel inadequate or like I’m failing someone, somewhere.
The honest truth is, I am. I’m failing myself.
I am not allowing myself to reap the rewards of my hard work at my job because I feel guilty about said job. But at the same time, I’m inadequate in my attention span and time spent conversing with my child. I’m watching Marie Kondo and daydreaming about a clean home instead of patiently allowing my toddler to help me fold clothes while he’s still interested.
This blogger doesn’t have any “mommy wisdom” to spread about this struggle. Instead, I am going to take you with me on my journey for that mythical work/life balance. It does exist…right?
So let’s do this, moms! Let’s come together and find advice and practices, tricks of the trade, words of wisdom from other moms. Please share with me and with each other. I thought I had been there and done that the first round, but I hadn’t even scratched the surface.
This time, the clock is running, and I’m tired of chasing after it.
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