As a little girl, I always dreamed of being a mom and wondered what it would be like.
Growing up I would care for my baby dolls as if they were my own babies. We are all so young and innocent with no idea what being a mom really is or what it means. Do we even know what it truly means?
I was not sure how to answer that question.
Flash forward to when I married and started a family of my own finally. We welcomed our little boy with so much love. When it was time to leave the hospital, the nurses asked if we were ready to go, and honestly, I was not sure how to answer. How could they be sending this fragile little human home with people that have no idea what they are doing? What are we supposed to do without all their assistance?
Am I doing this “mom thing” right?
Even with the lack of sleep and frustration of not knowing what exactly I was doing, I loved my new life. But the biggest question I still ask myself to this day is, am I doing this “mom thing” right? How do I know I am doing the right things for my son? Now I have someone else I must take care of and make the decisions for.
The bonding time was one I will always miss but never forget.
One of my biggest struggles was breastfeeding. I never realized how difficult it is until I was trying to feed my son. The pain and frustration were indescribable, but the bonding time was worth it. Still, I wondered, how do I know if I am doing it right? Did he get enough to eat? Is it filled with enough nutrients? The guilt with breastfeeding was tremendous and it still bothers me on occasions.
I strongly dislike ending the day with guilt.
It seems as if our lives are in constant chaos. We are always on the go and there is always something to do or get done. One of the biggest challenges I have had to face is that cleaning will ALWAYS be there, but those days with them being little will be gone quicker than we realize. Take the time to play, go outside, dance, sing, make messes, and be silly.
I strongly dislike ending the day with the guilt of wondering if I spent enough time with him. Did I help him learn something new? Did I give him enough attention? This is a constant cycle that I fight within every day. I have been learning to live in the moment and be excited about the memories we are making now, versus dwelling on the past or thinking of everything in the future and not absorbing the present.
My son is so loved and happy.
The guilt of not knowing if I am being the best I can be or doing the right thing for my son is a lot of weight on me. Do I deserve to be called mom? How do I know what to do next for him? I keep reminding myself that my son is so loved and happy with a full belly and a warm bed. No one is perfect but showing our kiddos how much they are loved and giving them our time makes us perfect in their little eyes.
You deserve that title of mom.
No matter what is happening in your day-to-day life, always know you are an amazing mom, and you deserve that title. Days are not perfect and as parents, we will make mistakes.
And do not forget, the cleaning will always be there so enjoy the moments and make all the memories you can!
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