Dear Daughter: Being a Girl is Hard

Honest mother moment. There are times I am terrified about raising a daughter in today’s world.

Let’s face it. Girls can be mean and ruthless. They can be impressionable and easily give into peer pressure. Girls have body issues. They often feel vulnerable and if you ask me, all of this starts way too young these days.

Dear Daughter: Being a Girl is Hard1

All of it scares me.

I’m scared because I know I can’t hide her from the world. Because I know she’s going to go through things I can’t protect her from.

I’m scared because I remember moments when I really struggled and the thought of her experiencing those feelings deeply hurts me. It makes me emotional even thinking about it.

There are so many things I want to tell her about the world. So much I want her to know and more that I want to prepare her for.

How do you tell your daughter that being a girl is hard?

How do you make her understand?

In reality, I don’t think you can. I can’t see into my daughter’s future and I don’t know what her life will be like. What experiences she’ll have as she grows up.

What we, as mothers, can do is provide advice and guidance. We can help our girls navigate through the hard times and remain strong and proud to be a girl. So here’s mine:

Dear Daughter,

If you can be anything, Be Kind. Choose Kind. Treat others with Kindness. Be the bigger person, even when it’s hard. Even in the darkest moments, a kind heart can shine through darkness. 

Take care of you and always make yourself a priority. Be true to who you are. Don’t ever change for someone else. Don’t ever let someone else make you feel bad for being the person you were born to be.  Do what makes you happy and surround yourself with people who love you for who you are.

Life is hard. Be prepared for that and expect that. Things aren’t meant to be easy and mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn (a quote I learned from your Papa). Always know I’m your biggest fan and I’ll be here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Never be afraid to ask for help, especially from me. You only have one life, so live it to its fullest!

Don’t be afraid to try new things. Whether it’s a new food, a new activity, or a new hairstyle. You’ll never know until you try. Don’t dwell on what others might think. I was very guilty of that growing up. I was so worried about what others would think of me. It’s exhausting and not worth it. Let life lead you where it will; be open to change and new ideas.

Forgive. Offer forgiveness. It takes a strong person to say “I’m Sorry” and an even stronger person to forgive. Don’t lose faith in people. Holding onto the past and dwelling on what was will only hold you back from what can and will be.

You will love me and you will hate me, and that’s okay. I want you to know we will argue, we will disagree, we will get upset with one another, but we will never stop loving one another. There is nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you. Nothing. Communication will always be one of our greatest strengths.  I want you to tell me your joys and your fears. I want you to communicate how you’re feeling, what’s upsetting you, what or who you love and what you’re thinking.  If it’s important to you it’s important to me. I will understand and I will help you.

Your Daddy and I love each other. You were made from love. There may be times that he and I don’t always see eye to eye or we disagree on things, but it will never be your fault.  The fairy-tales are out there for you but it doesn’t look like Cinderella’s horse drawn carriage and castle. It’s respect and compromise, arguments and tears, laughter and love. It’s communication and forgiveness. Your daddy has flaws and so do I. Your prince charming has flaws and so do you. It’s how you work as a team and help each other weather the storm that’s important.

You changed me. You gave me the greatest gift I have ever and will ever receive and the greatest role I’ll ever play. You made me a Mom.

I love you more than you’ll ever know and I’m so proud of the GIRL you are.    


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