Entering my twenties was never something I gave much thought to, but it was the craziest ten years I could have ever imagined. Getting pregnant two months later was not what I planned on and it went about as well as anyone could have predicted. An abusive relationship, dropping out of college, failed attempts at cleaning up my life…it was one train wreck after another. After the midway hump of 25, I started to figure things out, got my life back on track, and met my now husband.
Our kids are happy and healthy, we have a beautiful home and our wedding day was perfect. But the road to get there was far from a dreamy fairy tale. Turning thirty at the beginning of this month has weighed on my mind for quite some time. It was intimidating, yet exciting to think about entering a new decade of my life. After getting over the shock of my new age, I decided it was time to stop dwelling on what I could not control, make amends with my past, and focus on the future.
Let Go of What’s Weighing You Down
I have held on to things for years that haunt me to this day. Blaming myself for my parents’ divorce, frustration over broken friendships, embarrassment over mistakes that I’ve made, and giving too much thought to things that do not deserve that time and energy. I have reached a point in my life where I need to shut those doors, lock them, and throw away the key. Going through “what if” scenarios in my head will not change the path of history, but they will drive me insane. I owe it to myself to let go and move on without the guilt of the past.
Appreciate Your Body for What it CAN do
We’re never satisfied with ourselves and always want to be skinnier, different hair textures, better skin, or whiter teeth. It’s a never-ending, detrimental cycle that I have been on since I can remember. Sure, we can chalk it up to being a woman today. Or we can break the cycle and be proud of our bodies and the amazing feats it has accomplished. My stomach is squishy and covered in stretch marks but I pushed out TWO babies. This was sans medication and I was walking around hours later. My legs are thick and strong, just like every other woman in my bloodline and I have run more miles on this beautiful earth than I can count. I’m alive, healthy, and here to see another day. It’s time to be appreciative of what I’ve got instead of worrying about what I don’t.
Slow Down – Busy is not Healthy
I recently told my husband that I never feel like I get things accomplished because I always have ten different things going through my mind. Instead of one finished task, I have ten that are half-done at best. I’m always thinking ten steps ahead of my family, and frustration sets in when things do not go according to plan. ENOUGH. I have a beautiful planner that is going to be filled with items like “me time” and activities we love. Not a million places to be in a tiny little time frame. It’s exhausting and not a healthy mental state to be in. My twenties were my decade of multi-tasking and trying to be super mom. The cape is coming off and this mama wants a slow and steady lifestyle.
More Experiences, Less “Stuff”
I’m sorry Target, but you and I are going on a break. I’ll still visit from time to time but you drain my bank account and clutter my home. When we moved, our square footage more than doubled in size. Subconsciously, I took that opportunity to fill this new, open space with as much stuff as I could. I want to have stories to tell, not things to show. I tell my husband all the time that once the kids are all moved out, we should buy a tiny home and just travel the country. (It’s a long shot but I’m trying!) I want to see so many places and there is so much stuff I do not need to buy. My Target trips can be for sunscreen and photo albums to fill with pictures of our adventures.
Do the Things You Love
I love fitness, so I’m going to keep running and find new races to complete. If you love to write, then write that book you’ve been wanting the world to hear. Cook, dance, yoga, sing…whatever it is that sets your soul on fire. Make time for that. We never know when our time is up, and no one wants to wake up one day filled with regret of all the things they never did. Be spontaneous, step out of your comfort zone and live the life you deserve. Our past is there for a reason. Let go, smile, and take that first step towards the rest of your life.
Sure, I didn’t need to turn thirty to have an epiphany of how I want my life to be. But if that is what it takes to ensure I can look back knowing I did it all and lived each moment to the fullest, then thirty will be the best thing to ever happen to me! No matter how old you are or what stage you’re in, make sure that you’re living life on your terms. I wish you more happiness, love and whatever other good things you desire in your next thirty years.
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Lovely post, Lindsay! <3