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Saying Goodbye to my 20s

I have always been told by women who are older and wiser than myself that the 30s are the best years of your life.

When I think of the 30s, I think back to when I was a kid going through school and seeing my mom with her friends. They were in their 30s and they seemed so… (dare I say it)… old!

They got together, had fun while talking and drinking coffee or wine, and relaxed while we kids played. These women seemed so cool, so put together, and so happy. I always thought, “what a life!” and I dreamt of the day that I, too, would be a mom who got to take it easy and hang out with my mom friends.

Saying Goodbye to my 20sWell, now that I’m in the last few months of my 29th year, why am I having such a hard time leaving my 20s behind?

For some reason, I feel younger saying that I’m 20-something and in my mind, that disappears the second you change that 2 to a 3. Irrational. I know.

It doesn’t help that I am the oldest of four kids. My three younger siblings all get to relish more years in their 20’s while I move on to the next chapter of my life. Suddenly, I feel stressed about where I am at in life.

I am not ready to be 30. I don’t have things figured out yet and my head is on a constant swivel trying to get through the busy days. Certainly, I’m not that “put together” mom that I once pictured a 30-year-old to be.

Instead, I feel like an imposter.

However, now that I’m a mom myself and most of my friends are in their thirties, I know that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

My mom did not have it all together in her 30s as my juvenile eyes once thought she did. Nobody, no matter what age, has it all together! But as each day passes by and I get closer to the day that I leave my 20s behind, I find more comfort in being 30.

I reflect on what the last 10 years brought me and realize I am so ready to move forward.

My 20s started with me in college, scraping the bottom of my bank account every single week praying that I could afford to buy groceries. I got married in my 20s and had both of my kids. I moved 6 times. We experienced a lot of big changes in a short amount of time. I grew up! I learned who I am and what I want out of life. And it’s not what I once thought I would want!

While the 20s were great and fun, they were also some very stressful years. I will not miss that.

In my 30s I am looking forward to slowing down.

Now I get to be a mom to my two kids and settle into the life that I always wanted. I feel much more financially stable. I feel like I am in control, I honor my body and the choices I make, I take fewer moments for granted, and I am content. Plus, I care less about what people think about me and I care more about how kind I am to myself.

Watching my kids go through school and become their own people will be amazing. It will be so fun to be their biggest cheerleaders for whatever activities they’re doing.

I am looking forward to having mom nights with my girlfriends. I am excited to be in charge of my own career and feel grounded in knowing what I value.

Yes, I’m sad to leave behind such an amazing decade of living and learning, but I think the excitement for entering into this next decade far outweighs it.

So really, my 30s are going to be amazing.

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