A Mom’s Rendition of the ABCs

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if motherhood were as easy as reciting the ABCs? It’s silly to believe being a parent would be as easy as reciting and memorizing a quintessential childhood song, but wouldn’t it be fun if we “mom-ified” it? ‘Cause Lord knows, we need a laugh. From A to Z, here is the mom’s rendition of the alphabet.

A Mom's Rendition of the ABCs

A is for another PTA meeting that I’m late for.

B is for bartering with my child to put pants on today.

C is for the Cartwheel app open on my phone as I look through things I don’t need.

D is for stale Doritos crunched up in the back seat of my minivan.

E is for utter exhaustion. Need I say more?

F is for flipping through outdated magazines that I never had the chance to read.

G is for getting over the gross factor of wiping butts for three years.

H is for hard to hold my pee when I sneeze (thanks lack of bladder control).

I is for I need caffeine…like yesterday.

J is for jogging. Oh wait, I don’t do that…

K is for keeping my cool while my overly tired toddler melts down.

L is for LulaRoe pants are all that fit me right now.

M is for making lunch only to realize that my kid suddenly despises what I made.

N is for my nose-picking child embarrassing me as I check out at the store.

O is for an overly overdue appointment to the nail salon.

P is for pulled up hair, sunglasses, and stained leggings…aka my wardrobe.

Q is for quiet as I lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes of alone time.

R is for red wine. Sweet, sweet, delicious red wine.

S is for stretch marks cover my hips, boobs, and bum. Sure…we’ll call them tiger stripes.

T is for the two trips to Target that I make daily weekly.

U is for unusual ways I sneak veggies into my family meals.

V is for varicose veins that didn’t go away after pregnancy.

W is for watching my favorite guilty pleasure Netflix show (Orange is the New Black, anyone?)

X is for the “xoxo” note I sneak into my kids’ lunch boxes. So embarrassing, right?

Y is for yearning for a ladies weekend away. Preferably somewhere warm and stress-free.

Z is for the zen that I crave after a long day.

Now you know your ABCs, next time sing laugh along with me!

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