If I’m completely honest, I wish I could have done more for my son’s birthday.
Because of COVID-19, our financial security has not been the greatest, and I felt like it was irresponsible to spend money on a party that nobody could even come to. This attempt at some realistic thinking clashed with my desire to go above and beyond for my children because I know they deserve only the best right now. Both of my kids have been stuck at home with Mom and Dad for months now. COVID-19 has had noticeable effects on everyone in my family – and I can’t help but try to cheer everyone up from time to time.
My days have been blurring together lately and his birthday felt like it came so quickly.
I didn’t realize how emotional I would feel around this time. My son’s actual birthday was also a hard day because I had an uncle who was having brain surgery that day. He had a few complications going into the surgery and it was hard to focus on what I was doing with that in the back of my mind.
I wasn’t expecting to feel the way I did on his birthday.
All I could think was it hurt my heart to look at my son and think of all the things I wish I could do to celebrate him. I wish I could have bought him all of the presents that I thought he would like. I wish he could experience all of his family and friends being at our house for a special party just to celebrate him. I wish my family was able to see him and create those memories together. As much as I didn’t want to accept it, COVID had a drastic effect on my son’s birthday.
Still, as much as this hurt, I was able to find the moments of beauty within this challenging day.
It didn’t occur to me until after we had done most of the celebrating already, when something struck me about my pictures of his party. In the majority of them, my 6 year old daughter was right there next to him. It struck me how much these two have bonded being at home with each other all day, every day. Most parents dream of the day when their children will get along and enjoy being around each other. Yet, here I was, seeing that happen before my eyes. I found myself feeling incredibly grateful.
Even if the coronavirus prevented us from doing some of the things we wanted to do, I was still blessed with some special moments that I won’t forget for a very long time. In a way, COVID-19 was the reason that some of these wonderful moments were able to happen. Our family has bonded so closely over these past few months, and it was a joy to see just how special it was to celebrate my son’s birthday together.
This experience of celebrating a birthday during COVID-19 has made me more hopeful about our time in quarantine and showed me that there will be blessings even during the hard times.
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